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Completely Random, Out of Nowhere, NFL 2018 Season Predictions



Written by Ben Slavin

Traditional football sites do their predictions after big events like the draft or free agency, but we here at Franchise Quarterback aren’t traditional. We’re awesome. So enjoy these predictions that have the same likelihood of being right as the Browns having found their franchise quarterback. 

AFC


  AFC East

Buffalo Bills - 5-11

The Bills overperformed dramatically last year, and no matter how much Bills fans may hate Tyrod Taylor, they can’t deny he’s better than Josh Allen or AJ McCarron.


Miami Dolphins - 3-13

Adam Gase seems so concerned with establishing a culture that he’s forgotten what wins games in the NFL — talent.


New England Patriots - 12-4

Everyone in the Patriots organization seems to hate each other, but does anyone actually think that will stop the Pats?


New York Jets - 5-11

The Jets are building a nice team, but it’s too early to see the results pay off. Be patient, Jets fans, a few years from now, this team could be a contender.

 AFC North


Baltimore Ravens - 6-10

The Ravens could be the team that revolutionizes the league with Lamar Jackson, but that’s years away if it’s ever going to happen. For now, the Ravens are stuck being below average.


Cincinnati Bengals - 6-10

The Bengals are as talented as many of the teams competing for playoff spots this year, but it’s become clear that this team won’t go anywhere with Marvin Lewis coaching them.


Cleveland Browns - 5-11

John Dorsey has come in and changed everything for the Browns. Many of the draft picks stockpiled by Sashi Brown were used with a win-now mindset.


Pittsburgh Steelers - 11-5

The Steelers are going to do the same thing they do every year. They’re going to drop a game to a terrible team, beat a lot of solid teams, and make people think they’re a threat to the Patriots.


  AFC South

Houston Texans - 8-8

I’m not on the Texans hype train and I don’t really understand it. Deshaun Watson was amazing as a rookie, but tore his ACL, and JJ Watt is never going to be the same.


Indianapolis Colts - 4-12

Andrew Luck’s return is not magically going to carry the Colts to the top of the AFC South. The division is quietly becoming of the best in football and Luck hasn’t thrown a ball in over a year.


Jacksonville Jaguars - 11-5

The Jaguars are one of the most awesome teams in the league, with one notable exception. That one notable exception is likely to keep them just short of the Super Bowl once again.


Tennessee Titans - 11-5

The Titans seemed to be one of the luckiest teams last year, and usually that signals a decline the following year, but internal growth and a series of great moves should actually lead to improvement.

  AFC West


Denver Broncos - 6-10

Poor Broncos fans. They finally get a capable quarterback, only to see their defense and wideouts are on the decline.


Kansas City Chiefs - 9-7

The Chiefs are going to be fun this year. Patrick Mahomes is a gunslinger surrounded by weapons and the defense is going to make every other team’s quarterback look like Aaron Rodgers.


Los Angeles Chargers - 11-5

If the Chargers can just get out of their own heads, they have a realistic chance at a Super Bowl. How a team with so much talent can keep on choking in the big moments is baffling.


Oakland Raiders - 6-10

The only person who knows what the Raiders are doing is Jon Gruden. They had one of the strangest free agencies and worst drafts — never a good combination.


NFC


 NFC East

Dallas Cowboys - 8-8

A team that could compete in the AFC, the Cowboys won’t be able to replicate the magic of 2016 and will instead fall behind the NFC giants.


New York Giants - 9-7


I expect Big Blue to bounce back big this year. The Giants clearly believed they were closer to the playoffs than a rebuild, and I have to agree mainly because what team can stop Odell Beckham Jr. and Saquon Barkley at the same time.


Philadelphia Eagles - 11-5

The Eagles were somehow able to get better coming off a Super Bowl victory. They have just 11 wins only because the combination of Super Bowl fatigue and a massive target on their backs are tough to overcome.


Washington Redskins - 6-10

Unfortunately for the Redskins’ deep roster, they are going to see what Alex Smith does when he isn’t surrounded by a brilliant play caller and some of the best weapons in the league. Enjoy your two-yard screens, Washington.




 NFC North

Chicago Bears - 6-10

The Bears could do serious damage in a worse division, but the NFC North is going to be tough again, so the Bears lag behind. There is still potential for a Rams-like jump, but safer bets are out there.


Detroit Lions - 8-8

A defensive coach and investment in the running game to support MVP candidate Matt Stafford would be enough to push the Lions into the playoffs most years, but the NFC is going to be an absolute bloodbath next year and the Lions don’t have the killer instinct.


Green Bay Packers - 10-6

Rodgers is back, which automatically guarantees the Packers as Super Bowl threats. But the Packers seem to finally be realizing he can’t do it all alone, and went out and signed Muhammad Wilkerson and Jimmy Graham.


Minnesota Vikings - 12-4

The talent difference between Kirk Cousins and Case Keenum is not the same as the contract difference, but Cousins might be enough to push the Vikings over the hump.


 NFC South

Atlanta Falcons - 11-5

The Falcons have to bounce back this year. They are still one of the five most talented teams in the league and a second year adjusting to Steve Sarkisian’s offense should bring them back to their 2016 form.


Carolina Panthers - 10-6

Most people are doubting the Panthers, and maybe I’m biased, but I like what I’m seeing. These are the best weapons Cam has ever had, and we’ve seen what Cam and the Panthers can do with nothing.


New Orleans Saints - 11-5

One of the greatest draft classes of all time is now experienced and poised to make the most out of one of Drew Brees’ final years.


Tampa Bay Buccaneers - 6-10


In one of the weaker AFC divisions, the Bucs could compete for a division title, but in possibly the strongest division in the league, they’re unlikely to even hit .500.

 NFC West

Arizona Cardinals - 3-13

It’s crazy how a team can have multiple players top-five at their position and still have this bad of a roster. Good luck to you, David Johnson and Patrick Peterson.


Los Angeles Rams - 12-4

The Rams may have gone all in on one year more than we have ever seen. There’s a good chance it pays off and it’s always better than just sitting around and hoping for internal improvement.


San Francisco 49ers - 10-6

I’m a huge believer in Jimmy G and Kyle Shanahan, but the 49ers hype train is going way too fast. Those two are a great combo and will have them in the playoff hunt, but there are still so many holes on the depth chart.


Seattle Seahawks - 4-12

Sorry Seattle fans, but unless any of you 12th men can suit up for the Seahawks next year, it is going to get ugly real fast.


Final Standings


NFC

  1. Los Angeles Rams 
  2. Minnesota Vikings 
  3. Philadelphia Eagles 
  4. Atlanta Falcons 
  5. New Orleans Saints 
  6. San Francisco 49ers 

AFC

  1. New England Patriots 
  2. Los Angeles Chargers 
  3. Jacksonville Jaguars 
  4. Pittsburgh Steelers 
  5. Tennessee Titans 
  6. Kansas City Chiefs 

Record tiebreakers are based on who I think is most likely to have the best conference record or most likely to outperform their projection.

Playoffs

Wild Card Round

3. Jacksonville Jaguars vs. 6. Kansas City Chiefs

Kansas City takes the final AFC playoff spot with a weak record, shoddy defense, and no chance of moving on. Jacksonville’s defense is able to shut down the high-powered Chiefs offense and roll to a victory.

4. Pittsburgh Steelers vs 5. Tennessee Titans

The Steelers shouldn’t expect the Titans to roll over and die like they did last year against the Patriots, but they also shouldn’t expect a particularly hard test.

3. Philadelphia Eagles vs. 6. San Francisco 49ers

Jimmy Gesus will cover for a lot of the 49ers flaws in the regular season, but he is going to get destroyed by the Eagles pass rush. Carson Wentz should also have no problem carving up the Niners D. Eagles win it in a blowout.

4. Atlanta Falcons vs. 5. New Orleans Saints

This is going to be a tough game. I’d expect the teams to split the regular season matchups and the tie-breaker could very well be home-field advantage. But, this is the NFL, and nothing ever makes sense, so the Saints win off of a couple of flukey turnovers.

Divisional Round

1. New England Patriots vs. 4. Pittsburgh Steelers

The game last season could have easily gone the other way and given the Steelers the first seed in the AFC. If they had gotten that, they likely would have avoided a matchup with Jacksonville, and maybe gone on to the Super Bowl. This year, the game breaks in their favor.

2. Los Angeles Chargers vs. 3. Jacksonville Jaguars

Two of the most talented teams in the league, Los Angeles and Jacksonville will both have to overcome their crippling flaws to advance. Luckily for the Jaguars, horrific quarterback play is easier to hide than an inability to win big games..

1. Los Angeles Rams vs. 5. New Orleans Saints

The Rams lost on some unfortunate plays last year and probably could have done damage if it weren’t for that. It’s going to take a lot more than two special teams fumbles to take down the Rams this year, though.

2. Minnesota Vikings vs. 3. Philadelphia Eagles

Many people thought last year was going to the Vikings year, but Nick Foles and the Eagles had something to say about that. This year, the Vikings are even stronger and hungry for revenge, but sometimes there’s just nothing you can do.

Championship Round

3. Jacksonville Jaguars vs. 4. Pittsburgh Steelers

Twice last year, Jacksonville had no trouble and no fear facing Pittsburgh. This year, it will be a different story. Big Ben was amazing in last year’s divisional round game and without a massive early hole, he will help the Steelers exorcise their teal and gold demons.

1. Los Angeles Rams vs. 3. Philadelphia Eagles

The Rams traded away a lot of assets to go all in on this year, knowing that Philadelphia would likely be standing in their way. The Rams offense should be able to subdue the Eagles pass rush often enough to reach a respectable point total and their defensive superstars should make enough plays to hold down Carson Wentz. Don’t count out the Eagles, though. They defied the odds all of last year and will do it once more.


Super Bowl LIII


Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Philadelphia Eagles

The battle for Pennsylvania! In terms of cities, Philadelphia would destroy Pittsburgh, but in a football game, it will be much closer. I would expect scoring similar to last year’s Super Bowl with what should be two of the top offense in the league. The Eagles should be the favorites heading into this game, but the Steelers match up well. The Eagles biggest weaknesses are their linebackers and secondary, and so long as the o-line can hold up long enough for Ben Roethlisberger to throw, Le’veon Bell, Antonio Brown, Juju Smith-Schuster, and even James Washington should have no problem finding the end-zone. On the other side of the ball, Carson Wentz should be fully healthy and back in his groove by now. That is trouble for any defense, but the Steelers defense is underrated, with a solid pass rush and versatile secondary. The problem for Wentz is his weapons don’t even begin to compare to Roethlisberger’s.

 Super Bowl LIII Champions - Pittsburgh Steelers

I have a strange feeling that this is the year for the Steelers. They’re always in the conversation, but this could be their best and last chance for a while. Big Ben is pissed about the drafting of Mason Rudolph and will release his anger on the field. Le’veon Bell is still looking to prove to the Steelers that he is worth a serious and long-term financial commitment. The road ahead of them could not be easier, too. The Patriots hate each other and were unable to solve many of their glaring problems and the next tier of AFC challengers, the Jaguars and Chargers, each have causes for skepticism along with poor home-field advantages. Whoever comes out of the NFC is likely to be beat-up and have weaknesses exploitable by Pittsburgh. Expect a parade with terrible towel swinging and Wiz Khalifa blasting this February.

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